and two become one...

Yes, it's official...



We eloped!

The big event happened on Saturday, October 18th in the mountains of North Carolina. Two brides, two grooms, an officiant, and a photographer/witness gathered at a cozy, scenic spot in the woods for the exchange of vows. It was small, it was personal, it was beautiful, it was perfect.

Thank you to our family and all of our friends for your support. We hope to have a celebration soon where we can share our photos, our stories, and our joy with you!

Much love,
Todd and TT

just in case anyone is still reading...

I haven't written in awhile. In fact, since my last post, August 2nd has come and gone.

Then, sights were set on September 20th. And as some of you have heard, September 20th will also come and go without much fanfare.

Two postponements. And of course, I know that people are going to talk. I know that there are whispers and jokes floating around. It wouldn't surprise me at all if bets have been made on when, and even if, the wedding will happen. I mean, who postpones a wedding twice? Especially when it's a wedding that seems pretty low-key and laid back. A luau party, in the backyard--how much easier can that get?

Well, there's always more to the story than the whispers and jokes can cover, so before you place your own bet, please allow me to explain.

There is an element to the changing dates that is based on physical preparation for the wedding. We knew we wouldn't have everything ready by August 2nd, so we gave ourselves a little more time to complete some of the projects. But then, in the last month, we have made zero progress on those projects. The fence still isn't stained or sealed. The porches haven't been painted. The backyard landscaping remains a bit of a wreck. Things have been busy, and we haven't been able to address those projects like we had hoped. So, we are still not physically prepared to host a wedding.

There is something else, though, even more important than physical preparedness--emotional preparedness. And I will be completely honest here and say that it is something that I am struggling with.

Most of you know that I was previously married. I was married, and my marriage failed. Or rather, I failed my marriage. I estimate that I was 99% responsible for the divorce, and because of that, I still carry a lot of guilt, shame, and sadness over the demise of my marriage. There are nights--even now, years later--that I cry myself to sleep thinking about that particular part of my past. Should I still carry those burdens? Probably not. Do I want to carry those burdens? No. But I do. As much as I wish that I could just flip a switch--that I could just turn on a light in my heart and make all of the ghosts flee into the shadows-- it isn't that easy. Those ghosts still haunt me.

And because of that, I am afraid. I am afraid of getting married. Sometimes, I feel like I can manage it, but then sometimes it positively terrifies me.

And it is not a reflection upon Todd or my love for him--Todd is wonderful. I love Todd dearly. Todd has been extremely patient with me in all of my ups and downs. He has held me when I've cried, he has listened to my fears, and he has continued to walk with me when other men probably would have gotten frustrated and just walked away. Even when he doesn't completely understand, even when my struggles and hesitancy make him sad, he continues to love me with a patience that would rival Job's. And I am so grateful.

My hope is that everyone else will be patient with me as well. I recognize that I need to deal with these issues, that I need to face the demons from my past and not allow them to hold so much power over me now. And this will probably take some time and most likely require some counseling. I want to get to a point where my pulse will race with excitement, not with stress, when I think of getting married. It isn't fair to Todd, or to myself, if I am approaching my wedding day with anything less than joy.

So, I promise that there will be no more "false dates" in the wedding preparations-- you will either hear that we eloped, or you will receive an invitation in the mail. All in time. All in the right time.

Thank you to my sweet Todd, and to everyone else, for your patience.

good things come to those who wait

August 2nd is just slightly over a month away, so you may be wondering why you haven't received your invitation to the wedding. After all, they are usually mailed at least 6 weeks prior to the event, right? Emily Post would not be impressed.

Well, the fact of the matter is, we are behind schedule. There are still many things on the wedding task list that have not been marked off. Lots of "to-do's" with no strike-through. And as Todd and I evaluated the July calendar, and factored in all of the commitments we already have, we realized that there are only two fully workable weekends between now and August 2nd.

Two weekends = too little time.

When that realization hit, the Great Stress Attack of 2008 quickly followed. And it wasn't pretty.

But then we had another realization, which was that we hadn't sent the invitations out yet, so the date wasn't really set in stone. If we needed more time, we could take it.

So, we decided to postpone the wedding. Don't worry--we are still getting married--it just won't happen on August 2nd. We don't have the new date set yet, but I will certainly keep you posted. And if this rescheduling causes an inconvenience for anyone else who has been planning for that date, I really am truly sorry, but I hope you'll understand that this is the best thing for us.

Cause otherwise, on August 2nd, you'd have a great-big-stress-monster marrying a man-who's-really-annoyed-by-a-great-big-stress-monster, and it wouldn't be pretty. Trust me.

Plus, it's gonna be hot as hades in August. Did you really want to sit through an outdoor wedding in 100+ degree weather? I didn't think so. Later will be much better.

So, stay tuned for an updated schedule, and thanks for understanding!

44 til 4-ever

Weather.com has a "Wedding Watch" tool, where you can sign up, enter the date of your wedding, and they track the weather for you and keep you updated. 'Cause, you know, they can so accurately forecast the weather 2 days out, why not ask for 2 months out? I remember hearing a character in a tv show or movie saying that meteorologists are only accurate in their predictions 30% of the time. I wonder if this is true.

Anyway, when I clicked onto weather.com today, I was greeted with the wedding countdown. 44 days to go. Jumpin' Jehoshaphat. That isn't much time at all. But, instead of getting stressed over the shrinking number of days between now and the nuptials, I thought I would focus on the positive. After all, 44 is a happy number.

So, here are 4 big things we have accomplished:

1. The fence is 97% done. All that's left is screwing in a few boards, putting a locking mechanism on the gate, and topping off the posts. And it looks absolutely fabulous. Really. Our back yard looks like a completely different, and wonderful, place.
2. The new landscaping is 99% done. I just need to buy one more shrub to fill in an empty spot, and we're good to go. We may add more in the future, but it looks great right now. It's 10x better than what we had...no, 100x.
3. We have decor galore. Leis, tikis, grass skirting for tables, hibiscus cups, starfish, sand dollars, etc. Oh boy.
4. Our invitation list--with addresses--is so close to final. Now, I just have to get the invitations ordered, and we are in great shape--and one of the tasks that tends to be the most difficult in planning a wedding will be complete.

Forty-four. Here we go!

dress for less

I am a bargain-bragger.

I am definitely not someone who is ashamed to admit that I discount shop---most of my clothes/shoes/etc. come from T.J. Maxx, Marshall's, and other similar stores. I love the rush I get when I find a good buy, and if I find something really great on the cheap, honey, you're probably going to hear about it. I think most people have probably heard (more than once) about my $2.50 pair of jeans that I bought at Parisian's. I still talk about them--obviously--even though I retired them to Goodwill a year or so ago.

So, it thrills me to no end that I just ordered my wedding dress.

From Target.

For less than $100.

Wedding dresses at Target??? I know, I was surprised, too. They don't carry them in stores, but you can order them through the website online.

And, as long as it fits, you will see it up close and personal in just a couple of months.

2

Today is June 2nd, which means that we now only have 2 months until the wedding.

Yikes.

It seems like we still have a LOT to accomplish in 8 weeks, so we are both definitely feeling the crunch. Many of our friends and family members have kindly offered to help in any way possible--but most of the tasks that are left are fairly difficult to delegate. For example, as much as I'd like to ask someone else to go shopping and find a wedding dress for me, I have a feeling that probably wouldn't work out too well.

The good news is that the fence is almost up, and it is looking fabulous. I ordered all of the decorations and party favors today, so that is another task to check off the list. Next up is landscaping and ordering the invitations.

Slowly but surely, we press on...

Two months!

fence me in

Loads (and loads and loads...and a few more loads) of lumber: $3200

Post hole digger: $30

Bright orange wheelbarrow: $100

Renting an auger for 24 hours: $72

Having friends who will give up a couple of days out of their holiday weekend and suffer the heat and humidity to help you build your fence: absolutely priceless.

A huge thank you to everyone who came out and worked this weekend! As soon as the fence is finished, we will have everyone over for a great, big cookout and fence celebration party.

yard art

I really wish we hadn't lost the battery to the camera.

Those of you who follow my other blog know that I have major issues with losing/misplacing things. Most recently, I misplaced the camera at a party, and while it was left alone, the battery apparently staged a revolt (likely upset at being used over and over again), so it left the camera and wandered out into the great unknown. The camera eventually returned to us, but the battery didn't, and I can only assume that it ended up in that great, big battery pasture in the sky. Or else it got carried off by a dog and is now covered in mud somewhere in our friend's yard.

Regardless, because we don't yet have a replacement battery, I can't show you a current picture of our front yard after the plant demolition that occurred over the weekend. We decided to yank out all of the boxwoods and other random bushes that were populating our yard and start with a clean slate. So, right now it looks really funny. Kind of like a big hairy dog looks just after he has been shaved for the summer. Since I don't have a camera, this is the best I can do:



(I know what you are wondering, and no, I actually didn't major in art, as hard as that might be to believe.)

The only living thing in our yard right now, besides the big clump of weeds we call our lawn, is the Japanese Maple that is sitting in a pot, waiting to be planted. Yep, it's barren. I'm sure our neighbors are wondering what in the world we are doing. I'm calling the look "The Minimalist Landscapes at Home."

But, in 10 weeks (or hopefully less than 10 weeks, considering that's how long we have until the actual wedding day), it's gonna be gorgeous. Just wait.

have our cake and eat it, too

Question: How can you take flour, butter, sugar, eggs, and oil and turn it into a few hundred dollars?

Answer: Make a wedding cake.

Yes, it's amazing what bakeries can ask you to pay for custom cakes. Highway robbery, even. So as I was driving around in Chattanooga with my mom today, the thought occurred to me...I love baking. And I am actually fairly good at it. In my early twenties, I hosted a bible study every Monday night for junior high youth leaders, and they were my baking guinea pigs. Every week I would try out a new scrumptious-sounding recipe with them: cakes, cookies, brownies, tarts, you name it. And there were rarely any leftovers.

So, I asked my mom: "Would it be completely crazy of me to try to make my own wedding cake?"

Her response, without a moment's hesitation, "Um, yes."

But, I'm not entirely convinced that it's a terrible idea. It might even be a therapeutic exercise in the midst of a crazy week. Unless, of course, the cakes burn, or the icing runs, or the oven breaks, or something else goes horribly wrong. But, I try not to focus on such things. So, our wedding cake just might be a TT original.

And with the luck I've had with wedding dress shopping, I just might be making my dress, too...although that seems a much more dangerous enterprise...

i get by with a little help from my friends

Todd and I decided fairly early on that we didn't want to do the typical bridal party arrangement, with 5 or 6 bridesmaids/groomspeople on each side. Todd's argument was that he either wanted all of his friends standing up with him (which would make for a rather interesting--and large--bridal party) or none at all. It made sense to me, because we have many wonderful friends, and it would be very difficult to delineate a "Top 5" (I mean, really, I have trouble even picking out a "top 5" for my T-mobile phone plan!)

Thus, our bridal party will be me, Todd, and my niece Kaelyn (flower girl/birthday girl extraordinaire).

It occurred to me, though, that even though we won't have an official bridal party, the fingerprints of our friends will still be all over this wedding. One of our friends is serving as the officiant. A couple of friends will be the photographers capturing the day. Another couple has offered to roast up the pig for us. One friend has volunteered her expert landscape design help. Yet another friend will be helping with the flowers. A few girlfriends have taken on the planning of the showers and pre-wedding festivities. And many friends (hopefully!) will be contributing to the construction of the fence.

So I just want to say thank you, sweet friends, for your love and support...you are all truly our honorary bridesmaids/groomsmen-- we just won't make you rent a tux or buy yet another "this is obviously a bridesmaid's dress that I will certainly not wear again" dress.

Much love to you all!

100 and counting

At the urging of some friends who are trying to throw us a shower, I began the process of setting up registries at a couple of places. (Don't get too excited and try to search for them, because I think I have only added about two items to the list. When you have lived on your own as long as we have, it's hard to think of things that you still need, and that don't duplicate what you already have). But as soon as I entered the information on one of the sites, the main page popped up with the message, "Only 100 days until the wedding!" Wow. 100 days. Exactly. All of a sudden, it feels like the big countdown is on.

I think I should probably register for a calendar...

the backyard blues

I just entered our yard in the DIY network's "Desperate Landscapes" competition. It is a huuuuge longshot, since there are over 3,000 entries, and I think that they tend to choose front yards instead of back yards for the makeovers. But, who knows? Maybe we will get lucky and they will be intrigued by our wedding story. And maybe I will also win the lottery next week. Hey, you never know until you try, right?

But, in the process of taking the pictures for the entry form, I discovered exactly how much work there is to do in the backyard. It doesn't just end with the fence, folks. There are holes that have to be filled in, nasty old bushes that should be ripped out, a rotten planter that desperately needs help, and a side porch that is in dire need of a new coat of paint. So, if you need to find us this summer, just look in the backyard...we'll probably be out there working whenever we have free time. (Free time? What's that?)

Anyone up for a fence building/landscaping party?

progress

So the question I seem to get most often now is "How are the wedding plans coming?"

At this point, I'd say that our progress could best be measured in centimeters. Possibly millimeters. Sloooooooowly, but surely.

We've done some behind-the-scenes work:
- Todd has started planning the fence.
- I've made a list of the places I want to use for catering/cakes/etc.
- I've had some luau decor promised to me after the school auction is over (how fortuitous that the auction theme just happens to be a luau this year!)
- I've been thinking about fun, different ideas for invitations (my latest thought--printed frisbees)

So, we haven't actually accomplished anything big that could be marked off of the to-do list, and I have to admit, that makes me a little nervous. I love marking things off lists. L-O-V-E, love. The whole reason I make lists is so I can mark things off of them. Big confession here: I will even put something on a list that I have already done, just so I can experience the joy of drawing a line through it. I know--I have problems.

But, I keep telling myself that I will be able to get a lot more done after school is out and my schedule isn't quite as hectic. Of course, at that point, we will only be 2 months out from the wedding.

Oh boy.

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Anyone who has followed our wedding planning process since the beginning knows that we have changed our minds on the location, oh, about 5,372 times. First, we were going to do a destination wedding in Costa Rica. Then, it was an eco-resort in the Virgin Islands. Most recently, we were looking for beach houses in St. Augustine, Tybee Island, Mexico Beach, and others. I think the suggestion of getting married on a cruise was even thrown in there somewhere.

Then, as stress began to creep in and muddy the joy of it all, we re-evaluated. We decided that the three most important considerations were:

1. We want our friends and family to be there to celebrate with us.
2. We want the wedding to be easy and economical.
3. We want it to be fun and different.

So...we're getting married in the backyard. Somehow, it really makes sense to me to do it at home. It is familiar, it is intimate, it is laid-back...it is us.

We are, however, going to keep the beachy theme...so get ready for a wedding luau. There will be sand, there will be beach balls, there will be tiki huts--so dust off your Hawaiian shirts and grass skirts, and prepare to be lei'd. (Yes, I went there.)

Now, instead of stress, I feel excitement. This is going to be so much fun.

I just have to start praying now for no rain on August 2nd, because I'm not sure how to fit 100 people in my house.

Save the Date!

It's official, people...

August 2nd, 2008!

Save the date, mark your calendars, record a memo on your phone, write it on your hand...do whatever you need to do to make plans to attend.

And keep watching for more details!

What's in a name?

I'm not sure who came up with the children's rhyme, "Todd and Tiffany, sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g..." Do that many people really kiss in trees? Seems a little funny to me, although I guess it's much easier to rhyme than "sittin' on a bench."

Anyway, that rhyme is not the only reason for the name of this blog. When Todd and I first started dating, our friend Jenni said that she had predicted our union, because when she was young, she planted two trees in her front yard and named them "Todd" and "Tiffany". So, this title is also an ode to those foreshadowing trees that bore our names.

Welcome to our wedding blog.